Winners Round 3 !! Certificate Winners

Category: Otherwise Inaccurate Guess:

WINNER
@AndrewGent: 1 or more scrolls, written in a foreign language, possibly ancient, possibly illustrated, on carved wooden spools?
[Winner: This guess wins in this category because it would be so awesome if that was what was in the box. It is totally inaccurate, except possibly “ancient” (depending on one’s perspective), but awesome.]

@The_No_Show: Based on the box, the weight distribution and your blog name, it has to be: the slowly-thawing head of Carmen Miranda.
[Oh, The_No_Show. My blog name does have something to do with creepy things pertaining to heads, but it is my own skull I am referring to. I know that your job is to “judge books by their covers” but you should have observed after two rounds that in this game the box is not an indication of what is inside it. I like that you supported your guess with the steps of your deductive process, but why do you think I have her frozen head?]

@michael_elliott: it's a kaleidoscope!!! it's a kaleidoscope!!! (wow, i can spell kaleidoscope! can't spell "thier" or "recieve" see?)
:WHAT? i can guess AGAIN?? it's still a kaleidoscope.
[As always, I love enthusiasm, but this object is totally not a kaleidoscope. It is completely opaque and has no moving parts – at least, no parts that are supposed to move.]

@CeeBee: after much consideration and deliberation my #gwiitb would have to be a pair of binoculaurs. yeah, i'm sticking with that
[It would be interesting if the object had been a kaleidoscope, because I would be very tempted by a guess of binoculars. Unfortunately, it is totally not a kaleidoscope nor a pair of binoculars. The lone argument I could imagine making involves distance (in time, not space), but it is not a strong one.]

@threebaddogs: pear ghosts.
[I can’t rule out the possibility that there are pear ghosts in there, but I can’t conclusively determine that either way. I do enjoy this guess very much, but it is just not on point.]

@texburgher: Is that a bottled beverage in that box? That's my guess.
[Here is a hint to future entrants. The prize is destined to be mailed if the winner is in the continental United States, and there are limits on the mailing of liquids. Also, mailing beverages is the kind of thing that just brings one to the attention of authorities, which I prefer not to do. If the type of beverage had been specified, or even the type of bottle, I suspect that might have had an effect on the judging, but without more detail, the short-list is where we stand.]

@extremecraft: A curry comb. Not the pony kind, but some kind of obscure absinthe spoon-like utensil for eating curry.
[Due to a hashtag mixup, I almost didn’t see this entry, but I did find it. I love this guess, but it is not accurate. There is no argument for tool-likeness, food-relatedness, or even spiciness with this prize, and this lovely guess is unfortunately confined to the shortlist.]

@1sjcorbett: An hour glass to gauge all my wasted time on Twitter. Especially following the antics of one @JSvanBuskirk.
[Come now. How can I be expected to concur with any guess that equates (even in jest) my antics with a waste of time? Additionally, this object has slipped free of time, and cannot be connected with the measurement thereof.

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Category: What Some Might Think Is in the Box:

WINNER
jnobianchi: Is is something ornamental but built on principles of physics, and so therefore has some not terribly useful uses?

[Winner – Yes. This object is shiny and decorative and designed to sit on a shelf or some such, and principles of physics are vital to its design in a few different ways (although probably not the ones you meant). And, as far as I can tell, it has no useful uses except to exist and to be seen.]

@TheStepster: An artsy fartsy unbalanced ornament.
[As discussed above, this object is ornamental. It is not, however, artsy fartsy, nor is it unbalanced. It would have been an accurate guess for prizes in the past, and I think it shows promise.]

@d_g_: What is in the box? A very happy plastic banana.
[This guess is on the shortlist for “What Some Might Think Is in the Box” because a very happy plastic banana is a joyous fake thing made in an unnatural way to replicate a thing that exists in nature. There are key differences between the natural thing this object represents and a banana that prevent this guess from taking the top spot.]

@ShiftyWriter: It's a Buddha laying on his Buddha belly. That explains the muffled rocking sounds (his moans). Don't kill the Buddha!
[There is a representational element in this object, but it is not an object of veneration, the founder of any faith, nor is it alive at all. What do you take me for?]

@BrianPike: A pestle, but no mortar.
[I like this guess, and had to think a good bit about the part of this object that is made of marble, but it is not a useful item, not even a partially useful item, and this guess cannot then be the winner.]

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Category: Unspecified

WINNER
@wrens: Something that reminds one, in both good and bad ways, of time spent at sea.

[I have removed the “Made Me Laugh” category this round because so many of the guesses made me laugh. I just thought this peculiar and charming guess (for which no argument could be made of it winning any of the other categories) should get some kind of special recognition.]