Twittered Decameron, Part 1/2

The Decameron, by Boccaccio, in Tweets-

A brigade of 10 beautiful young people flee the plague, pass time in the country by each telling a tale a day for 10 days, and flirting.-

Day I. Pampinea is Queen to command the activities for the day. She sets no theme for the tales for today.-

I,1 A wicked money lender falls ill far from home. Dying, he tells a friar such lies of his own goodness, all believe he was a saint.-

I,2 A devout man converts from Judaism after concluding that Catholicism must be God’s will, for Rome thrives despite much corruption.-

I,3 A Muslim ruler & a wealthy Jew reach accord. All three religions of the Book are of God, it is not for men to say which is highest.-

I,4 A monk seduces a woman, and knows the bishop knows. He arranges the bishop’s seduction by the same woman. Problem solved.-

I,5 A beautiful Marquess puts off the King’s unwanted advances by serving him chicken. He asks about hens, she answers about women. Burn!-

I, 6 A man ends unjust persecution by an inquisitor by expressing fear what will happen when that cleric’s generosity returns 100-fold.-

I,7 A witty man enlightens a great man (re generosity) with a tale about a great man who gets enlightened with regard to a witty man.-

I,8 A miser, for once moved to seek someone’s approval, is challenged by an admirable man to learn generosity, and he seeks to do so.-

I,9 An injured Lady asks a useless King for advice in handling insult, since he clearly bears it so well. At last he is moved to virtue.-

I,10 A Lady makes much fun of an older man who is smitten with her, but is baffled and set down when he responds with wit and good humor.-

Day I ends. Pampinea appoints Filomena Queen for Day II. Filomena sets theme: people who struggle and succeed unexpectedly.

Day II. - This is the continuing feed of Boccaccio's Decameron -

II,1 A man fakes a miracle and is saved from a mob only when his friends tell cops he's a thief. He barely escapes hanging. Good times.-

II,2 A merchant beset by thieves finds warm welcome with a lovely widow and sees the thieves captured. St. Julian is much honored.-

II, 3 After brothers waste 2 fortunes, nephew catches the eye of a disguised English princess & marries her, raising the family status.-

II,4 Adventure! In poverty, a young man turns pirate, is captured, then shipwrecked. Ashore, he finds treasure and goes home wealthy.-

II,5 Tricked & robbed, merchant is then tricked & trapped in a tomb by robbers. He frightens later tomb-robbers and escapes w/a ruby.-

II,6 Father imprisoned by king, mother separated from boys, all endure separate hardship until recognition and uprisings reunite all.-

II,7 The Sultan’s daughter, intended bride for a King, is taken by 9 men in 4 years. Home again, she passes as virgin, marries the King.-

II,8 Unjustly accused man takes steps to protect his family, lives in exile, works hard, and finds happiness once his name is cleared.-

II,9 Wronged wife of wronged man dresses as a man, frees man, gets revenge on wrongdoer. Like Cymbeline, but w/Sultan & Italians.-

II,10 Young guy carries off old rich guy’s young wife & will only give her back if she wants. She doesn’t. Old guy dies. Happiness.-

Day II ends. Neifile is crowned Queen & declares a weekend break, and sets the theme for Monday: changing fortune that ends well.-

Day III. - This is the continuing feed of Boccaccio's Decameron -

III,1 A man pretends to be deaf & mute to get job in convent, & gets lots of action with all the nuns. He lives a long & happy life.-

III,2 King snips hair from groom suspected of bedding queen. Waking early, that groom lops hair from other grooms’ hair and escapes ID.-

III,3 A lusty lady tells a corrupt cleric his handsome friend is pressing advances. She gets her way while seeming virtuous.-

III,4 Pious man + (neglected wife + amorous scholar monk) = complicated 40 day penance for one/ simple 40 paradise for others.-

III,5 Gallant has fancy horse to trade for a few minutes speech w/ greedy man’s beautiful wife. In a way, all three get what they want.-

III,6 Mr. Tricky tricks lady into thinking lady’s husband is meeting Mrs. Tricky. Lady goes as Mrs. Tricky & sleeps w/her "husband."-

III,7 Oh the drama. Turned away by his lover, back in disguise to get apology, saves her husband from execution, reconciles w/family.-

III,8 Naughty abbott tricks man into believing he has died, gone to purgatory & been revived. He raises wife's new baby as his own.-

III,9 All’s Well that Ends Well – really. The names are different, and in this version she has two sons before he returns to her.-

III,10 *NSFW* Hermit teaches girl how to put the devil into hell. She settles to marriage when assured husband will know how.-

Day III ends. Filostrato is crowned King. He sets a theme for the next day: Loves that ended unfortunately.-

Day IV. - This is the continuing feed of Boccaccio's Decameron –

IV,1 King dotes on but neglects his daughter. He sends her lover’s heart to her in a gold cup. Defiant, she drinks poison. He mourns.-

IV,2 Cleric has his way with beautiful lady by appearing to her in the guise of the angel Gabriel. He gets caught and locked up.-

IV,3 Brothers (ABC) run off w/ sisters (DEF). Jealous D kills A. Wrathful B kills E for saving D. D&B run off. C&F escape but die.-

IV,4 An intemperate prince breaks family honor to rescue beloved princess. In shipboard attack, she is killed. Then he’s beheaded.-

IV,5 Brothers kill her lover. She finds head and keeps it in a basil pot, watered w/ her tears. She dies. Creepy story, but it sticks with you.-

IV,6 Lovers tell each other their spooky dreams, then one drops dead. Accused of killing him, she defends herself, then becomes a nun.-

IV,7 He rubs sage leaf on his tooth, drops dead. Taken up for killing him, she shows what happened with the leaf & also drops dead.-

IV,8 Mom insists guy go to Paris. He comes home, his girl is married. He sneaks in to die by her side. She goes & dies by his body.-

IV,9 Lord slays his wife’s lover and presents lover’s heart to her as food. She figures out what it is and throws herself out a window.-

IV,10 He takes opiate, thought dead. She hides body in chest. Chest stolen. Awake, he’s accused of theft. Truth out, thieves hanged.-

Day IV Ends – Fiammetta is crowned Queen. She sets a theme for the next day: Lovers that go through troubles that end happily.-

Day V. - This is the continuing feed of Boccaccio's Decameron –

V,1 Love kindles couth in a brute. Hero captures girl temporarily. Buddy helps him out of prison, they both get their girls.-

V,2 In despair at word of his death, she sets adrift in a boat. She comes ashore where, surprise, he is risen high and rich. They marry.-

V,3 Lovers run away and encounter ruffians. She runs and makes it to safety, he escapes later. They reunite, marry, and go home.-

V,4 Girl arranges outside bed to “hear the nightingale.” Parents find her w/ lover asleep, "nightingale" in hand, and approve the match.-

V,5 One suitor turns out to be beautiful orphan's brother, so she marries the other. The suitors needn’t have fought, really.-

V,6 Well connected lovers piss off a King (he wanted the girl) & are almost burned alive before an Admiral tells King who they are.-

V,7 He gets his Lord’s daughter pregnant, is to be hanged but is set free & marries his love after his Dad recognizes him.-

V,8 Spurned suitor arranges for Lady to see ghost of man cursed to repeatedly kill ghost of cruel woman who spurned him. Lady relents.-

V,9 Suitor spends and spends but is spurned. Lady comes to breakfast. He cooks and serves his last possession (a falcon). She relents.-

V,10 Husband comes home early, and it seems no one is in a position to throw stones. The more the merrier, actually.-

Day V ends – Elisa is crowned Queen. She sets a theme for the next day: A clever remark or device averts trouble.-