Winners Round 1 !! Certificate Winners

There are a few categories to cover. I am awarding a certificate to the winner in each category, and within the groups the entries are listed in the order in which they were Tweeted.

First - The guesses that made me laugh the most:

WINNER @LidMo: Pleather soul talkin' Made for walkin' GO GO Boots. (LidMo gets extra recognition as first entrant of the first round, and guessed the thing I would most like to actually have and would not give away if I did)

@andreakremer: a rasher of bacon! (I am not sure the USPS would let me just mail that, assuming I would not fry it up and eat it, again, something I am more likely to keep!)

@fistsoffolly: Is it an Etch-A-Sketch with the first canto of The Divine Comedy on it? (I really wish I did have this, and it would be an extremely cool prize. The big problem would be preserving the Divine Comedy in shipping. "Do Not Shake – Etch-A-Sketch Inside" would just be asking for trouble.)

Second - The Best Otherwise Inaccurate Guesses

WINNER @Tony_D: What goes into it is not always what comes out of it. (I really like this guess, but I don't have a good argument for how it would win the Grand Prize. The object in the box is used to put other things into other other things, not get other things put into it. For this category, I judge this the winner on elasticity and elegance.)

@threebaddogs: - a brand new Kindle (Like some of the other entrants, it appears threebaddogs subscribes to the "wish for something you want" school of gwiitb guessing. A Kindle is a mechanism, but the guess is for a brand new one, for new and unknown uses, whereas this object has a mysterious past, being certified pre-owned, and not just by me.)

@extremecraft: A PONY!!!!!!!! (subscribes to the "wish for something you want" school of gwiitb guessing, and always has. My awareness that he always guesses “A PONY!!!!!!!” possibly affects my selection of prizes, so future entrants might consider putting ponies in the same category as cats – not in the box.)

@CatRocketship: A placard depicting historical information about a building. (I really like this guess, but don't have a good argument for how it would win. Objects like this make history, but are merely tools of men. They are not permanent in historical memory. Sometimes the use of things like this one give occasion for historical noting, but the thing itself is unlikely to be preserved.)

@closethipster: It's a sweater! http://tinyurl.com/ar9dc5 (This should be recognized as the most elaborate guess - it had a link! However, this object is totally not a sweater, and the video he included with his guess suggests to me he might be willing to cheat at what-is-in-the-box guessing.)

@lancehenrikson: A really large cat called Hector who is dying to get out and claw you. (Note that this entrant changed his guess twice, and he will possibly be sad to learn that his second guess (something about dignity) might have been in the running – I could make an argument that someone's dignity, possibly Dan Rather's, would be a potentially winning guess. As it is, the only eligible guess involves a cat, which you should all know will not ever be what is in the box. I do very much like the name "Hector" for a cat.)

@michael_elliott: crushed newspaper and a brick of olive green plastelina (I know that one could argue the general concept of "crushing," newspaper being made of wood, and bricks of all sorts being similar to a part of this object. I had to look up what plastelina is. If the entrant had specified whether it was shaped and baked, that might have affected the judging.)

Third - What Some Might Think Is Closest to What Is in the Box

WINNER @toldorknown: rubber mallet (Even I agree, a rubber mallet is very similar to what is in the box.)

@frageelay: Ball peen hammer (A ball peen hammer is not quite as similar, but very similar to what is in the box.)

@KT30003k: I am guessing a child's croquet set, with mallet ends/balls in a long plastic blister pack. (there is an objective overlap between this guess and what is in the box.)

@texburgher: I'm pretty sure there's a hand-carved wooden penis in that box, and I really need to win it to complete my set. (Er, yes. It is wood. It is long and skinny with a big part at one end. Freud said some stuff about that I think might be relevant here. The object in the box is NOT hand-carved.)

The Grand Prize and Short-list Entries are featured in the last post