Monday, February 2, 2009

Twittered Decameron, Part 2/2

Day V ends – Elisa is crowned Queen. She sets a theme for the next day: A clever remark or device averts trouble.-

Day VI. - This is the continuing feed of Boccaccio's Decameron –

VI,1 A lady escapes rough narration by remarking on the rough gait of her escort’s horse. He takes her meaning & tells other tales.-

VI,2 Servant tries to con classy baker out of more wine than Lord sought. Baker sends servant back til Lord catches on, then gifts wine.-

VI,3 When Bishop teases virtuous lady in public, she retorts, invoking scandal that involves Bishop’s pal and Bishop's brother’s family.-

VI,4 When Lord gets angry about getting served crane w/only one leg, Cook makes him laugh with joke that cranes have only one leg.-

VI,5 A wise judge and a brilliant artist, both ugly, ride through rain and mud, and taunt each other’s appearance.-

VI,6 A guy wins a supper by playfully proving a notoriously ugly family is the oldest (noblest) in the world - God was still practicing.-

VI,7 Lusty wife acquits herself of adultery charges by showing it’s husband’s fault. She never denied him, he can’t keep up with her.-

VI,8 Vain girl is warned by uncle: if she doesn’t like to see tiresome people she shouldn’t look in the mirror. She doesn’t get it.-

VI,9 Rich intellectual blows off dandies who want to hang out with him by basically calling them dead from the neck up.-

VI,10 Friar promises the folk an angel’s feather, but finds only coals to show them. Ah! They are from the martyrdom of St. Lawrence.-

Day VI ends – Dioneo is crowned King. He sets a theme for the next day: Tricks played by Wives upon Husbands.-

Day VII. - This is the continuing feed of Boccaccio's Decameron –

VII,1 When lover knocks, wife convinces very stupid husband it’s a bogey and sings a convincing exorcism. -

VII,2 Husband comes home to sell barrel. Wife says it’s sold to guy inspecting barrel. So husband fixes barrel while adulterers disport.-

VII,3 A foolish husband is easily convinced that the friar and the wife were locked in the bedroom saying a charm to save the baby.-

VII,4 Locked out by angry husband, wife convinces him she’s jumped in well. He hears big splash & runs out. She runs in & locks door.-

VII,5 A jealous husband is tricked into watching the wrong door, just when he thought he had tricked errant wife.-

VII,6 “Oh, him? He came by looking for some other guy, who’s hiding here somewhere, not like they’re both my lovers or anything.”-

VII,7 After bedding Lady, man goes to garden where Lord waits in Lady’s clothes to catch her lover. Man beats Lord: “Unfaithful Lady!”-

VII,8 Wife turns table on jealous husband by putting maid in her own place. When husband calls wife’s brothers, they beat him instead.-

VII,9 Young wife passes 3 challenges & wins her chosen gallant, then arranges the dalliance so Lord sees it but thinks it illusion.-

VII,10 Two buddies in love with the same woman. One gets action, so much he dies of it, & comes back as a ghost to tell of afterlife.-

Day VII ends – Lauretta is crowned Queen. She sets a theme for the next day: Tricks people play on each other.-

Day VIII. - This is the continuing feed of Boccaccio's Decameron –

VIII,1 Friar borrows money from merchant to pay merchant’s wife to sleep w/ him, then tells merchant “I paid the $ back to your wife.”-

VIII,2 Wife has affair with a priest. They exchange tokens and banter, including dirty jokes about mortars and pestles.-

VIII,3 A foolish man is tricked into looking for, and believing he’s found, a magic rock. His wife makes fun of him.-

VIII,4 Priest won’t let lady alone. She sends maid in disguise, her brothers arrange for Bishop to catch priest with maid.-

VIII,5 Three mischievous guys pull a judge’s pants down while he’s on the bench.-

VIII,6 The guys from VIII,3. Foolish guy is tricked into believing he had missing pig the whole time, & pays them not to tell his wife.-

VIII,7 She leaves him waiting in the snow all night. He arranges revenge, leaving her on the roof in the sun and miserable all day.-

VIII,8 A sleeps w/ B’s wife. B’s wife helps B lock A in chest. B has sex with A’s wife on that chest. None really minds the swapping.-

VIII,9 The guys from VIII,3, again. Practical jokers convice a guy that he can join a secret magic club, leave him in a foul ditch.-

VIII,10 A merchant tricks a woman into thinking he has more goods than he really does. He extracts cash on credit and absconds w/it.-

Day VIII ends – Emilia is crowned Queen. She sets no theme for the next day.-

Day IX. - This is the continuing feed of Boccaccio's Decameron –

IX,1 Clever lady rids herself of 2 undesired lovers. Ones fake dead in a tomb, other goes after him, neither can “prove” their love.-

IX,2 Abbess, thinking to surprise a nun in flagrante with a lover, accidentally reveals her own affair. The ladies reach agreement.-

IX,3 The guys from VIII,3, again. Practical jokers convince buffoon he is pregnant, and he trades many goods to them for a “cure.”-

IX,4 One guy loses both his and his buddy’s money and tries to run for it. The buddy gets him back as he deserves.-

IX,5 The guys from VIII,3, again. Practical jokers “help” buffoon try to get his way with damsel. All he gets is trouble with his wife.-

IX,6 Bed mix-ups w/ two guests, the host’s wife, the host’s daughter, & the host. “Wake up (wink) you’ve been sleepwalking again.”-

IX,7 Man tells his wife of terrible dream that a wolf tears her apart. She doesn’t heed the warning, and the dream comes true.-

IX,8 One freeloader tricks another regarding breakfast. The second gets revenge by getting a violent man enraged at the first. -

IX,9 King Solomon advises the lonely man to find love by loving, and the balked husband to beat his ill-tempered & obdurate wife.-

IX,10 Man interrupts the spell for turning his wife into a mare when he sees how his friend attaches the tail. Spell doesn’t work.-

Day IX ends – Pamfilo is crowned King. He sets a theme for the next day, tales of generosity, nobility, magnificence.-

Day X. - This is the continuing feed of Boccaccio's Decameron –

X,1 Generous king shows petulant knight that reward comes from luck, not fairness, but then gives knight some treasure.-

X,2 Bandit captures abbot, cures him of ills, frees him. Abbot reconciles bandit w/ the Pope, who makes bandit head of a hospital.-

X,3 Bully searches for nice guy to kill him. Friendly guy explains how to catch him. Turns out, same guy. They become friends.-

X,4 Guy digs up the lady he loves and revives her. She was pregnant, has son, and guy restores her and son to lady’s husband.-

X,5 Result- A magic garden that blooms in January. Generous husband inspires everybody to release others’ promises.-

X,6 An old King realizes he has no business with a young girl. He dowers her and her sister generously in good marriages.-

X,7 A King is kind to a young woman heart-sick in her crush on him. He sets up a good marriage and is quite chivalrous.-

X,8 Everybody is so determined to declare themself the murderer that the Emperor frees them all and it’s happy ever after.-

X,9 Saladin recognizes captured man who had treated him well, and magically arranges for man to reunite w/his wife.-

X,10 Mind boggling story of King who takes peasant to wife, treats her like God does Job, then loves her for her patience.-

End Day X – Like Boccaccio, I could defend this work by saying: Take it as you will, and good fortune to you who wish it to me.-